Coping with Fatherhood.

As you all know by now, Rachael and I have become new parents. A little baby Xavier has been dropped off at our door by Mr Stork. It must have been a mistake because there is no way that the both of us together could make something so gorgeous. Maybe Rach had it off with some sexy male model, but either way, were not giving him back. I'm not going to rattle on about how he did this or that or how much of a genius he is. All of that has been documented in great detail on the Rach & Rod Blog site. I'm here to talk about....well your here to read about, the important things. Things like "The first 4 months - A fathers struggle", "The poo - is it as bad as they say" and "Maybe I should have been allowed to play with dolls". These are the big topics I will be addressing here.

Fatherhood is an interesting thing. I'm guessing that it’s a very different experience from person to person and from child to child. I can only comment on my personal experience, so if you think otherwise let me know.

Before Xavier came, it was all stations at the ready. I can honestly say that Rach and I were very prepared for what was to come. With many of you guys, our friends, having had kids already, we've been lucky enough to be able to pick your brains and observe proper parenting from the outside. The constant warnings about giving up sleep and never feeling rested and always running on empty, had us bracing ourselves for the worst. Not only the lack of sleep, but the sacrifice of any spare time and any recreational activities, where every waking moment is devoted to the wellbeing of the child. We fully expected these and still charged head first into parenting.

I think maybe that was the secret. Expect the worst and hope for the best. Raising an infant can be extremely hard work. Especially for single parents. May kids are also more time consuming and energy draining that others. For the first 3 to 4 weeks we thought we had a difficult baby. He cried a lot and had problems with wind. Babies that cry constantly are extremely emotionally draining. Every cry sucks a little bit of energy from you, so I really feel for those parents that have had a baby that would scream constantly.

Those first 4 weeks were what I expected. They weren't easy. They could definitely been harder, no doubt. The constant communication with Rach gave us the ability to adapt quickly to any situations as Xavier was adapting to life on the outside. We always held out hope that once he matured a little that things would settle down. And that's exactly what happened.

That first month or months are, I think, to test your metal. If you can get through those then you'll be right as rain.

Now it's all good. I can honestly say that I definitely get the better share of rest. Rach does all the night feeds so that I feel rested enough to be able to function at work. 4 times a week I'll have Xavier to myself from 6:00pm when Rach does a shift at The Reepham hotel. He pretty much requires constant attention at that time of night. Only allowing thirty minutes to an hour of spare time to prepare his bottles and things and bum around a bit as he sleeps. The time flies and is a great bonding experience. We spend most of the time stimulating his mind with toys and books and bouncing and flying. Fun stuff.

You soon fall into the fatherly rhythm. You do all you can for your child and you find that time for anything else is scarce. Now and then when we're both home, Rach and I can take shifts of looking after the little man, allowing the other to do something recreational. We're also lucky enough to be able to leave him with friends and family for a while so Rach and I can spend some time alone.

Becoming a father has been amazing. Thinking you had something to do with creating something so perfect, is a wonderful feeling. The attachment and love you develop is fantastic and you can't help yourself but thank your luck stars every day.