Temporary Bachelorhood - Day 03

Woke up with the customary hangover, although not too bad since I took it easy last night watching the footy. The steak sanger with onion and beef croquette combo festered into a fairly potent blob of red meat and fat inside my bowels, causing wonderfully aromatic farts this morning. Took advantage of the empty house to attack some cleaning duties, starting with the PC room. I should have taken before/after photos because the difference is remarkable. I still have to holepunch and file about 2 years worth of VISA and bank statements, but that can wait. Need to take baby steps with these things.

Got distracted halfway through and sprayed "Weed 'n' Feed" on the back lawn. There was a mini-football on the lawn which was obvious from the tards next door. The ones that burnt the fence and habitually block the driveway with their cars. The latest act of apparent neighbourly warfare was when I found a large patch of lawn that seems to have had cooking oil dumped on it. My amateur CSI skills allowed me to conclude that the direction of impact was direct from tard-town, but who knows what would prompt you to dump 2-3 litres of oil on your neighbour's lawn. Idiocy probably. That was 2 weeks ago though, and I managed to make a fair amount of noise on the fence with the high-pressure cleaner trying to degrease it. While performing methodical up and down sweeps on the colourbond, I naturally made the requisite extensions beyond the top of the fence to spray water over their pergola. I tried to aim specifically for the electrical wiring in the roofing, but had to settle for dousing the outdoor poker table. Oh well.

Naturally, the faint click of the hose being connected caused the retarded dog over the other fence to commence its pointless yapping. At least this time, the unholy din of what sounded like an inebriated Satan breaking the piss-seal against the urinal that was my fence was sufficient to drown out the little canine bastard. I'll remember that for future reference!

Back to today, and the little footy. I made a particular point of hosing it down with the "Weed 'n' Feed" and then letting the thin veneer of herbicide dry before tossing it back over. Who knows, the kids who own it might still be at the "Lewinski" stage of childhood development where they need to insert anything they play with into their mouths and will manage to successfully remove their genes from the pool, saving further generations from having their fences burnt down and their lawns destroyed. :)