Wombats Draw With Cake-Beaters

Game Date: 12/06/2002

Well, like baby Superman entering Earth's atmosphere, it was a fiery re-entry into the world of A-grade volleyball for the 'Bats tonight. The season opener saw the return of two of the Wombats veterens - two of the giants of the game, Bayls, and Mark "Shaka Zulu!" Zuza. Observers have speculated that these two are in fact bigger than the game of volleyball itself, and if their dual fat guts were anything to go by, the commentators might be right. The remainder of the team was made up of Damo, PJ, Kell, and Craigie all fresh from licking their wounds and each other, after the demoralising loss to the Salvies in the Grand Final last season.

Tonight's opponents were the Cake Bakers, resplendent in their "Class of 2001" matriculation jumpers, but sadly lacking the hoardes of vapid hornbags famous for cheering them on through their high school playing days.

The game got off to a good start for the Wombats, thanks to Bayls promising umpire Dirty Sanchez that Xena's pics were well on the way after being run through the nude-o-rama Paintshop filter, plus the $2 coin used for the toss that Sanchez also greedily pocketted. The first set was a decidedly uneven affair, with the 'Bats combination working seamlessly. Score: Can't remember, but it was a massive Wombats victory.

The second set was a much tighter affair. The demoralising Salvies defeat had obviously taken a far greater toll than previously expected. The young Reynella punks had obviously come to play ball, and they were giving the 'Bats a few lessons. Their grunting, yelling, and sheer prowess in making a massive theatrical drama out of receiving the ball back after it had strayed to a different court was too much for the Wombats. Some strong resistence was mounted with Damo letting out a corker of a 10 pin bowling curveball back to the server, and Craigy pulling on the magic boots for some of his soccer antics, but this was no match for the Cake Boyz. Their basketball layups, fake layups, dummy selling, Pele kicking, netball blocking, snooker breaking, Harlem Globetrotter style between point shenanigans left the Wombats in disarray. Clearly more time would need to be spent back in the schoolyard.

The final games were shit. The Wombats could only manage a draw. On to next week.