08 April 2007
To My Friends 6
13 April 2007 : To
My Friends Collated
13th
April 2007
Well as predicted the symptoms have begun to get a little less acute. There is less difficulty in swallowing, and I’ve managed to wean myself of all pain relief. The major difficulty now is the extreme lethargy that I feel almost 24 hours a day. It’s a funny thing, hard to describe. Although I do occasionally drop off for a few minutes sleep it is not a relaxing tiredness. If it was depression I’d call it an agitated depression. That is I am tired but agitated and restless at the same time. The only real relief is going for a walk and then after about 20 minutes my limbs feel as if they want to collapse.
It’s quite cold here today and I’ve just thought that the answer might just be to refill the spa pool and heat it. I can imagine that would help as it did a few years ago when I was on dialysis and had restless legs. I’ll do it. I can hardly believe that in a couple of days the temperature drops over 20 degrees.
Had an unexpected sort of Easter. On the Tuesday before Easter I had a small scc (squamous cell carcinoma) removed from my right shoulder. Nothing new or difficult here except that for some reason or other the wound developed an infection. By Friday morning I was in agony so we rang the surgeon who came round and promptly determined that I should be in hospital. She even arranged for me to be in the kidney ward (rather than her ward, plastic surgery) and for me to go directly on to I/V antibiotics.
So Julie and I boogyed on down expecting to go straight into the ward and onto the antibiotics. In the words of the immortal Darryl Kerrigan in ‘The Castle’ “tell him he’s dreamin’” At the hospital we were escorted to one of the holding pens in the emergency department where we were completely ignored for an hour and then interviewed intermittently for about two hours by a young asian house surgeon who seemed determined to ascertain that my main problem was that I couldn’t tolerate the antibiotic taken orally. My assurances that I had had this particular antibiotic many times before and that I had been taking it all the week anyway did not seem to impress. Eventually she said I’ve talked with my consultant and I think we’ll have to admit you. She was truly lucky to survive that one given that the admission had been arranged by the consultants 5 hours earlier. I never saw her again during my four day stay which was probably a good thing.
The next little drama occurred on Easter Sunday morning at 6am when a nurse came in and told me I had to get up and be weighed. Here I am, having had a little morphine to help me sleep, in the full glory of the resurrection, brought back down to earth at 6am to be weighed. I’m sure even the risen Christ would have had something to say about the
Anyway, the I/V antibiotics did the trick and on Monday, after another run in with the nursing staff over their inability to distinguish a sterile field from a non sterile one, I was discharged home again with a sigh of relief all round I expect. It does disturb me though that nursing staff are so under pressure that they are only able to do things by the numbers rather than bring some ordinary common sense or clear thinking to the various situations they encounter day by day and doctors in training are not much better. It seems that in the face of a total lack of interest in any creativity or innovation staff lose interest and morale slips to the point where nothing much matters except survival. The whole public health system in New Zealand is grossly underfunded and while Helen Clarke is swanning off to discuss futures which will never happen in the White House with the Cowboy who runs that outfit people in New Zealand are being short changed in all areas of social service so that government can show a surplus, whatever that it.
There! I’ve had my little rave. I knew I’d get it in somewhere. Over the last week I’ve made the time to read the articles in our latest ANZPA Journal. I must say I’ve found them both enlightening and enlivening. It wasn’t that I found the ideas wonderfully new but I was inspired by the ways in which psychodramatists are taking what we have learned and extending it in all directions reminding us again of the riches we have inherited and the amazing creativity that emerges when we are able to think about the world in these terms. Just simple ideas such as doubling and mirroring, how amazing are they as we seek to intervene in people’s narratives in ways that often bring about really exciting understandings and the possibility of lasting change so that the social atom is not recreated endlessly. Its terrific! Thank you Rollo for editing a really good edition of our Journal.
Just so you’ll know I haven’t totally lost touch with the muse I’ll include a couple of recent poems for your edification.
Seeking Beauty
In a time of suffering
it is difficult
to experience beauty in the world;
energy is focussed on
the maintenance of life.
Embracing ones suffering
is sometimes
the only possibility
yet somehow
one must experience
the possibility of that
which is beyond suffering.
The doctor arrives
she discusses the need
to stop infection spreading;
she pulls no punches yet
remains warm and positive
listening, smiling softly,
smiling with everything she is;
her eyes smiling
full of possibility;
here again is
the beauty in the world
8th April 2007
Dancers
Orange flowers dominate
the vine clinging closely
to the old pergola;
they reach out
dancing gently in
the light breeze as
the sun welcomes
their voluptuous ballet.
Each year
the virgins offer themselves
to the God dancing
their most provocative dance
their long tresses
barely containing
their beauty as
they dance toward
that exhaustion that
allows only one release.
Then spent
they withdraw
to give birth
so that the God
is always served.
7th April 2007
So there we are. Next time I hope to be reporting a very large increase in energy and an increasing desire to drink single malts.
Well as predicted the symptoms have begun to get a little less acute. There is less difficulty in swallowing, and I’ve managed to wean myself of all pain relief. The major difficulty now is the extreme lethargy that I feel almost 24 hours a day. It’s a funny thing, hard to describe. Although I do occasionally drop off for a few minutes sleep it is not a relaxing tiredness. If it was depression I’d call it an agitated depression. That is I am tired but agitated and restless at the same time. The only real relief is going for a walk and then after about 20 minutes my limbs feel as if they want to collapse.
It’s quite cold here today and I’ve just thought that the answer might just be to refill the spa pool and heat it. I can imagine that would help as it did a few years ago when I was on dialysis and had restless legs. I’ll do it. I can hardly believe that in a couple of days the temperature drops over 20 degrees.
Had an unexpected sort of Easter. On the Tuesday before Easter I had a small scc (squamous cell carcinoma) removed from my right shoulder. Nothing new or difficult here except that for some reason or other the wound developed an infection. By Friday morning I was in agony so we rang the surgeon who came round and promptly determined that I should be in hospital. She even arranged for me to be in the kidney ward (rather than her ward, plastic surgery) and for me to go directly on to I/V antibiotics.
So Julie and I boogyed on down expecting to go straight into the ward and onto the antibiotics. In the words of the immortal Darryl Kerrigan in ‘The Castle’ “tell him he’s dreamin’” At the hospital we were escorted to one of the holding pens in the emergency department where we were completely ignored for an hour and then interviewed intermittently for about two hours by a young asian house surgeon who seemed determined to ascertain that my main problem was that I couldn’t tolerate the antibiotic taken orally. My assurances that I had had this particular antibiotic many times before and that I had been taking it all the week anyway did not seem to impress. Eventually she said I’ve talked with my consultant and I think we’ll have to admit you. She was truly lucky to survive that one given that the admission had been arranged by the consultants 5 hours earlier. I never saw her again during my four day stay which was probably a good thing.
The next little drama occurred on Easter Sunday morning at 6am when a nurse came in and told me I had to get up and be weighed. Here I am, having had a little morphine to help me sleep, in the full glory of the resurrection, brought back down to earth at 6am to be weighed. I’m sure even the risen Christ would have had something to say about the
Anyway, the I/V antibiotics did the trick and on Monday, after another run in with the nursing staff over their inability to distinguish a sterile field from a non sterile one, I was discharged home again with a sigh of relief all round I expect. It does disturb me though that nursing staff are so under pressure that they are only able to do things by the numbers rather than bring some ordinary common sense or clear thinking to the various situations they encounter day by day and doctors in training are not much better. It seems that in the face of a total lack of interest in any creativity or innovation staff lose interest and morale slips to the point where nothing much matters except survival. The whole public health system in New Zealand is grossly underfunded and while Helen Clarke is swanning off to discuss futures which will never happen in the White House with the Cowboy who runs that outfit people in New Zealand are being short changed in all areas of social service so that government can show a surplus, whatever that it.
There! I’ve had my little rave. I knew I’d get it in somewhere. Over the last week I’ve made the time to read the articles in our latest ANZPA Journal. I must say I’ve found them both enlightening and enlivening. It wasn’t that I found the ideas wonderfully new but I was inspired by the ways in which psychodramatists are taking what we have learned and extending it in all directions reminding us again of the riches we have inherited and the amazing creativity that emerges when we are able to think about the world in these terms. Just simple ideas such as doubling and mirroring, how amazing are they as we seek to intervene in people’s narratives in ways that often bring about really exciting understandings and the possibility of lasting change so that the social atom is not recreated endlessly. Its terrific! Thank you Rollo for editing a really good edition of our Journal.
Just so you’ll know I haven’t totally lost touch with the muse I’ll include a couple of recent poems for your edification.
Seeking Beauty
In a time of suffering
it is difficult
to experience beauty in the world;
energy is focussed on
the maintenance of life.
Embracing ones suffering
is sometimes
the only possibility
yet somehow
one must experience
the possibility of that
which is beyond suffering.
The doctor arrives
she discusses the need
to stop infection spreading;
she pulls no punches yet
remains warm and positive
listening, smiling softly,
smiling with everything she is;
her eyes smiling
full of possibility;
here again is
the beauty in the world
8th April 2007
Dancers
Orange flowers dominate
the vine clinging closely
to the old pergola;
they reach out
dancing gently in
the light breeze as
the sun welcomes
their voluptuous ballet.
Each year
the virgins offer themselves
to the God dancing
their most provocative dance
their long tresses
barely containing
their beauty as
they dance toward
that exhaustion that
allows only one release.
Then spent
they withdraw
to give birth
so that the God
is always served.
7th April 2007
So there we are. Next time I hope to be reporting a very large increase in energy and an increasing desire to drink single malts.
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